Confessions of a Bad Submissive

Excerpt

How long have I known I’m submissive? It has only been in the last several months that I can see it as clear as day: I have always been submissive.

How long have I been a submissive? Now that’s a very different question, isn’t it? I have been a submissive off and on for ten years. Yes, off and on, because I frequently ran the relationship dynamic off the rails. And I think my little impatient, controlling self did it single-handedly. I am writing this is in hopes of helping you avoid the same mistakes I made.

Have I ever been a good submissive? Well, I know I’ve been good today. I have been obedient and have done everything required of me. It’s a really good step in the right direction, especially when you’re generally a bad submissive. It appears that this “one day at a time” attitude is the only approach that will work for me at this stage of my submissive maturity.

Yesterday? Well, I wasn’t as obedient as I could have been, and I noted this on my list of transgressions. I can pretty much guarantee you I will be spanked. More on that later. If you’re like me, you imagine the spanking part will be the really juicy part of the book, and you’ll want to skip ahead. Just so you won’t do that, I’m not going to tell you where the spanking part is. Oh, but it’s good. It’s good.

I’ll be referring to female subs and slaves with male Dominants and Masters, simply because it’s an experience I can address more knowingly, and also because I don’t want to have to type all the relationship possibilities every time just so someone won’t feel left out. This is not a book about kink in general. I simply cannot address every lifestyle, every contingency, every situation or every anything. For example, yesterday I was doing some research on the internet for this book when I stumbled across a picture of a man with disposable diapers covering his entire face and head. Someone had written derogatory names all over the diapers with multi-colored pens. There was a hole cut for the man’s mouth, and he also sported a rubber pig nose. I’ll give you a moment to let this gel in your imagination, because I now must add that he was sucking cock. So please remember that I am writing D/s or M/s for the sake of simplicity, not to discount the validity of the other unique relationship dynamics out there, and if I exclude whatever you are and whatever you do, it is not an intentional slight on my part.

As I write this, I am married to and serving my Master. Note that I didn’t say Dominant, even though the title of my book tells you I am a (bad) submissive. Confused? I get that. I, too, am often confused about exactly how to label myself, especially since what I am now isn’t much at all like what I was when I started this book. Oh, no. I started as a flailing, inconsistent, naïve, head-in-the-clouds, head-up-her-ass, wannabe submissive. Although I am a very determined woman, I screwed up time and time again in my commitment to obedience. If you’ll just stick with me and the story for a little while, all of it will make sense to you in the end. At least I think it will; it’s kind of a bumpy ride. I hope to show you a realistic picture of what a day-to-day submission and service can be like, should you venture down the path of 24/7. And you’ll be learning from a bad submissive, and, believe me, that’s good.