Desired Deep Slavery – ebook

Excerpt

My name is Julia and I am 23 years of age. I am a lifetime slave.

After living in my Mistress’s home as her ward for two years and gaining some small appreciation of her more private pleasures, I decided that this, her slave, was truly what I wanted to become. From my earliest years, I’d always had dreams of being totally controlled, and the opportunity to actually do it had finally come close enough for me to grasp. At first, I was only mildly curious about Alexandra’s past activities, for as young women in our society do, my friends and I discussed virtually all aspects of the world opening up to us, particularly the area of sexual pleasure. Other than the more mundane aspects of being a female, I gloried in my new found capability of enjoyment, but found after some experimentation, that I much preferred the company of other females in the sense of sexual adventure. Alexandra was of course aware of my curiosity and various experiments, but kept her own counsel, fearing she would bias my developing views on the ways and intricacies of sex. It was not something that she wanted to unduly influence she later told me and so left me free to find my own orientation and path.

During the second year of my stay with her though, I had a growing realization that I was in fact attracted to females on a more or less exclusive basis, and more mature ones than those of my own age of 19 at that time. Alexandra von Strassen, my Mistress, was to me, the ideal lover, or so I thought, and that view became more and more apparent the longer I was with her. I took to staying at home, much more so than my contemporaries did with their parents; truly enjoying her company and respecting her views on the world, and becoming more infatuated with her. Although we grew closer by the day, she had not yet disclosed her proclivities to me, steadfastly maintaining her privacy.

Then, one evening I went to her door and knocked hesitantly on it. Of course, she knew it could be none other than I, and so bade me enter. I slipped into her darkened room, dressed demurely in my robe and upon seeing her reclining there so voluptuous, I immediately began crying. Alexandra leapt from under the covers, deeply concerned, but I was nearly incoherent in torrents of tears and so she took me to her bed, laid me down and covered my shivering body with her scented satin sheets and the comforter. I’d shrugged from my robe when I got into her bed, then she slipped in beside me and I clung to her desperately, my naked body shaking with a turmoil of emotion. She held and talked to me over the next hours, until finally, the root cause of my problems poured forth. I delineated the feelings and sensations I was experiencing, and had lived with in private misery for the past year, telling her that the realization of my lesbian nature deeply distressed me, but then came the admission I was so terrified of making: my desperate need to be firmly and securely controlled, and this in a manner that none of my friends would ever be able to comprehend as being ‘normal’. Since the simultaneous death of my parents, two and a half years previously, I’d keenly felt the loss of the guidelines my family environment had provided and desperately craved a structured, permanent arrangement for my life. The balance of the night passed with me held in her arms, but still she did not reveal her inclinations.

The next day I was somewhat more composed, then at the dinner table that evening I stated that I wished to become her possession, as I found out much later, to her great delight. She said nothing for the longest time, eyeing me speculatively, then quietly asked why.

“Dearest Alexandra,” I whispered tentatively, “I know a little of your other life, or what you did before you returned to town and took me in,” I stated with a shy smile. “But some of the girls even whisper that you were a Dominatrix!”

“Julia?” she smiled slowly, “I’ve made no big secret of my previous life, but I’ve not allowed it to tinge our relationship in any way. I could not, in all good conscience as your Guardian, do so. However, now that you’ve informed me you’re aware of it, there’s much more you should know.”

From there she told her more about herself and recent life, and finally, got to the point of revealing that she had a long held dream of possessing a slave girl of her very own. During her discourse, I remained seated in quiet, rapt attention to her words and story, then when she’d finished, continued looking at her, utterly fascinated, and wanting to be that girl. Without a word, I got slowly to my feet and came to stand before her, then knelt beside her chair and looked intently up into those deeply luminous green eyes.

“Alexandra, I want to be her,” I stated, deeply serious, revealing myself. “Please?”

“Julia,” she said quietly, “I don’t think you fully understand the depth and seriousness of what I want, but, if we both agree to this happening, and there is some considerable doubt in my mind about its legality, then I want you to think very hard about the commitment you would make. It will be for the rest of your life. There will be no going back once the proper documents have been signed.”

“Oh, Alexandra!” I whispered, eyes shining, “I already know I want to belong to you.”

“Julia, that’s all very well, now that you’ve become aware of the possibility … but I want you to think really hard about this for the rest of the week. Next Thursday, after dinner, we’ll talk about this again, but until then, we’ll not speak further of it.”

“Very well, Alexandra,” I agreed with a small dampening of enthusiasm, although I knew my eyes shone with a brilliance and desire that was hard to ignore.

Over the next seven days, I seemed to float around the house and down the road when I went to my so boring classes at the local college. True to my word, I did not mention the topic at all. Yes, I knew I was good looking and had a figure that caused heads to turn whenever I walked along the street, and I took great care with my grooming. My hair was a shining helmet around my face and I suppose I had an innate style and grace of movement that was difficult to ignore or define, it seeming to have sprung from my genes while I matured. I had no doubt that I was reasonably attractive, intelligent, and curious, and it was this last quality that undoubtedly got me to where I am now. Coming in at the top of the class in my studies was no great effort. Other than preferring the company of women, I hoped that I was a vivacious and charming person.

The week flashed by and Alexandra was deeply involved with her substantial stock portfolio and investments, as well as consulting with her architects and the various contractors about the construction of her new home. I believe she spent the evenings creating the Contract that I would soon live by, if my resolve remained unchanged. The new house was to be her lifelong residence and she wanted it to provide both privacy and seclusion from the world. She’d purchased a 200 acre site to ensure her isolation, it being some 50 miles distant in the gently rolling prairie to the west of town. However, she had not just bought a simple piece of open land. The 200 acres was, in fact, a decommissioned missile site that had been taken out of service a couple of years previously. The subterranean complex had, of course, been gutted of all its military machinery, but the capacious, reinforced concrete bunker remained fully intact, complete with its electrical, plumbing, and other mechanical systems in proper, efficiently-maintained operation. Alexandra had purchased the property and its complex for a veritable song, then began the process of modifying it to suit her own needs. The first thing she had done was to raze all the surface structures that indicated the presence of the underground chambers: covering them with metres of earth, then planting trees in random patterns. From that point, she’d moved on to designing her above-ground home, and modifying the structures buried beneath.

There was more than enough money, and so she had the entire periphery of the property fenced by three metre high, stone walls; these capped with another metre of razor wire. Perhaps this was a little over the top by most standards, but she wanted total freedom to act as she wished within her domain and so her privacy was assured by the fencing alone. The new house was an elaborate construction containing many of the features she’d found admirable in some of the establishments she’d worked in as a Dominatrix, and now, it was nearing completion. She told me that she’d spent entirely too much time driving between it and our present home and wanted to move in as soon as possible.

When I knocked gently on the frame of the door and stuck my head around it she was relaxing at the desk in her office with a glass of white wine close to one of her beautifully-manicured hands.

“Alexandra? May I come in?”

“Of course,” she smiled gently, “I assume you’d like to continue our discussion of last week?”

“Oh, yes!” I asked breathlessly.

“Very well,” she smiled at me again. “Please, sit down.”

I moved quickly to the chair before her desk and sat quietly, my hands clasped nervously in my lap and looked at her, awaiting permission to speak further.

“Julia, have you thought hard about what we discussed?” she asked with great seriousness.

“Yes ma’am, I have,” I replied quietly. “I still want to be your possession. In all possible ways!”

“This isn’t something you can undertake lightly Julia, then say later that you want out, you know?” she asked, preparing to lay out the rest of my life. “If you accept, there’ll be no going back, I assure you.”

“Oh, Alexandra!” I suddenly began to sniffle, “I-I need to have you as my owner! I just feel lost so much of the time.”

“Julia, honey, I want you to feel loved, protected, and cared for … as much as you need it, but you must be aware that there are several conditions and areas of which you have no comprehension yet.”

“Please, Alexandra!” I wailed in near desolation, thinking that she was about to refuse my heart’s desire.

“Okay, Julia,” she said gently walking around the desk to where I sat with my legs curled under me, hunched over and weeping quietly with my face in my hands. “I have a number of quite serious and absolutely non-negotiable conditions that you must agree to, before anything at all happens.

“Take these papers to your room and read them thoroughly. Then, I want you to re-read them and underline all of the areas you find troublesome, okay?”

She handed me a thick file folder. Its title page was emblazoned only with the word “Contract”. I stared at it for a moment, then clutched it to my chest and stood shakily before her. I knew that if I raised any objections to any of her conditions, she would not grant my wishes.

“Thank you. Thank you!” I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, then ran to my bedroom.

The long document had taken the full week of evenings to create, and between the covers, laid out in the starkest terms possible, were all of the conditions I’d be required to accept, should I become her property, rather than just her ward. She’d listed then refined them, sparing no detail in her descriptions, and I wondered if I would be able to live within the strict terms she required. I spent the rest of that evening poring over the document and did not see her until late the next afternoon, when I again knocked gently on the door of her office, and asked to come in.

As usual I was dressed in a pair of snug fitting jeans, a loose top, and sneakers. Alexandra’s green eyes watched me closely when I entered, holding the file folder almost fearfully in my long fingers, then sat and waited in front of her desk. I laid the papers quietly on the empty surface between us and at last, with a noticeable gulp, began.

“Alexandra? Is it true that you would want me to be kept that way … all of the time?”

“Yes, Julia. I was quite clear I believe, about how you will be looked after for the rest of your life, even after I die. I’ve made provisions for that too, to ensure that your slavery and bondage will continue until your own death.”

“Do I really have to get all of my hair and eyebrows p-permanently removed?” I asked with trembling yet anticipatory terror.

“Yes,” she said simply, offering no explanation or salvation.

“And … and you’d keep me locked in that metal restraint harness and that chastity belt thing all the time?”

“That’s what it says, Julia.”

“W-would you ever let me out and m-make love to me?”

“That’ll happen occasionally, Julia, but only when I feel the need. Your desires will have no bearing on when you are freed from your enforced chastity. When I want you, I’ll want you so starved for sex that you’ll be almost crazy.”

“O-Okay,” I gulped, shivering with delicious terror at what she’d just said. How I wish, now, that I had turned and left right then and there! “Those p-p-piercings you’ve listed are pretty wild!” I gulped once more, trembling at the thought that thick steel needles would be forced through my flesh, then irremovable steel jewellery would be locked into the holes that had been created. Certainly, I’d fantasized about being pierced and wearing some nice jewellery, but to this point had not even had my ears done. What she had listed was utterly incredible, and terrifying to think that it would be done to me, and then, to top it all off, know that I’d be unable to remove the so-called jewellery, once it had been mounted in my flesh!

“Yes, they are,” she stated flatly, “But, if you truly want to be my slave girl, they’re a necessary part of your being equipped as my playmate … and property,” she smiled serenely.

“You…you said that I’ll have my own c-cell at the new house?” I was shaking noticeably now.

“Again, correct,” she said with little emphasis. “For the most part though, at first, you’ll seldom see its inside, for you’ll stay with me in my room. Of course, you’ll always be kept on a leash, even inside the house, but most importantly, whenever you’re taken off the property. Those occasions will be few, once you’ve been fully … ah … equipped.”

“Ooohhh, wow!” was all I managed for a moment before speaking again. “It says that I’ll also have to wear specially made rubber and leather clothing?”

“That’s correct. I have contacts that make the clothing and the other equipment I’ve mentioned. In effect, what you’d wear would be additional means of keeping you restrained. All will be custom-made, if you accept the agreement.”

“You wrote that there’ll be other things you’ll have done to me?” I gulped again.

“Yes,” she looked at me intently. “You probably won’t like them at all, but if you sign the contract to become my slave girl, they will happen, so you’d better think long and hard about that as well. Whatever I feel like having done to you, will happen, no matter how much you may object. There will be no ‘safe words’ for you, Julia, once the Contract becomes official. I want to make that quite clear, right now, okay?”

“Very well,” I gulped, making my decision. “This is so much more than I expected, but I’m sure it’s what I really and truly want.”

“Julia, even if that’s the case right now, I still want you to think about this for another week, alright? If, next Friday night, you still want to go through with becoming my slave, and after having read through the Contract again two or three more times, then we’ll sign a preliminary agreement, okay? The actual signing will be carefully witnessed, and recorded on video the following Monday.”

“O-Okay,” I whispered, eyes gleaming, then jumped to my feet and came around the desk and hugged her hard. “But I want to sign it right now!”

“No, Julia,” she said firmly and gently, returning my hug with a smile. “I want you to be very sure about this commitment. Once it’s completed at the Lawyer’s Office, there’ll be no going back … ever.”