The Penitent by Charles Arnold
Kathy Ryan’s feelings of guilt began at an early age, when she used to masturbate in her uncle’s basement, only later to hear him whisper, “Shame, Katherine, shame.” As an adult, a lovely young wife with a promising future, she’s haunted by her guilt. Writing to a man who captures her imagination, she says: I can only guess why I am so powerfully drawn to you, why I am both excited and repelled by you, desiring you, yet very much afraid. I can only guess at why I feel this overwhelming compulsion to subjugate my will to yours…I know that such a desire is wrong…obscene…terrifying.
The men Kathy desires disgust her… crude, filthy, wretched creatures… men no woman would want and yet she does. Even when she tries to swear them off, she finds herself again and again, lowering herself and returning for more humiliation and brutality. Driving heedlessly toward her twisted sexual shame, she quickly finds herself under the control of the hideous Mr. Stein. Though this wicked man repulses her, she’s unable to extricate herself from his tight grasp. He knows her better than she knows herself, and at every turn, even when she most denies the pleasure she feels, he confronts her with the awful truth. From her marriage to Stein’s dumb, repugnant son, to the vulgar, swarthy Abul, to the powerful Japanese businessman, who will have her at any costs, her life is circumscribed by the despicable men she’s destined to love and crave. The author of Lisa, Her Initiation, again creates a scheming and treacherous world as he explores the most deviant aspects of the human species. Be warned, this very graphically told story may offend you! This is no romance. Its content includes humiliation, punishment, anal and oral sex, S&M, bondage, public sex acts, exhibitionism and an unusual scene with leeches.
Previously published in the UK.
She stepped back from the door. He closed it behind him and stood looking at her. She could see he was impressed. She knew he?d never had a woman as beautiful. This tall, skinny, homely man had never had anyone remotely like her even in his dreams. ?How?s your tit?? he asked. She crossed to him and took his hands in hers. Looking up into his eyes, she raised his hands to her breasts. The nipple was still sore, but when he touched her the hot rush spread downward. He reached up to pull the bows on her blouse.?Not yet,? she said. She unbuttoned his shirt. His thin chest was white and pimpled. With her tongue she circled his nipples until they stiffened. His hands were on her ass pulling her into him. She could feel the length of his cock pressing against her belly.?Do you like that?? he asked, thrusting his prick against her.?Yes,? she said, ?yes, I like it.??And whatcha gonna do with it??She looked up at him, her red mouth glistening. ?I?m going to…to…??Suck it, say you are gonna suck it.??I…I…I?m going to, going to…suck it, Wally.?His bony chest was rising and falling rapidly. His hands moved to unbutton her skirt. She spun away from him and walked quickly to the ice bucket offering him a beer. He took it. His hand was shaking.?Slowly, Wally, please…let?s make it last.?? She held the glasses out to him. He filled them and sat down in the big leather chair to drink. She turned off the lamps so the room was bathed in soft candlelight. The CD player clicked and a jazz album fell into place; just flute, bass, and drums in a slow primitive rhythm. In front of the leather chair stood a sturdy glass topped coffee table. Kathy stepped up on the table and faced him. As she began to move to the beat of the music, she unbuttoned several of the bottom buttons of her skirt, enabling her to move more freely.?Take it out,? she said. He fumbled at his fly. His monstrous penis emerged like a red and purple snake. She had felt it earlier and knew it would be large, but its length surprised her. She unbuttoned her skirt to a point just below her shaved crotch. He began to stroke himself, his cock continuing to swell and harden. ?No,? she said, ?no hands, Wally.?She sat on the edge of the table, opening her legs as she place one foot on each of his knees. With both hands she spread the lips of her cunt. He drew in his breath sharply. She pointed her toes and thrust the gleaming butterfly toward him. ?My shoes, Wally,? she said. He didn?t seem to hear or understand. ?My shoes,? she repeated, ?take them off.? Gently, he removed her shoes. ?I think it?s time now,? she said. She stood before him and unfastened the four remaining buttons on her skirt. It fell to the floor. Then, with a hand on each shoulder, she pulled at the bows that held up her blouse. It dropped around her feet and she stepped over it.Wally put a hand on his cock. ?Suck it,? he said.She had never sucked a man?s cock, not even her husband?s. But she had thought about it. She thought about it on that first morning when she took him a beer. He was waiting. ?Yes,? she said. She got to her knees before him. She took his cock in her small hands and leaned down to circle its rim with the tip of her tongue. Her lips were wet and red, and her mouth was hot with saliva. She closed her mouth over the head of his cock, leaving a red mark around the glans. He eased himself back into the chair moaning with pleasure. She withdrew his cock from her mouth and stood up. ?Carry me,? she said.He lifted her easily. She put her arms around his neck. He carried her down the hall and into the candle lit bedroom. He stood, for a moment, beside the bed holding her in his arms as if she were a child. She kissed him, sliding her tongue deep into his mouth. Then, she kissed his scar and ran the tip of her tongue down its ragged length. He placed her on the bed and looked down at her. ?Take your clothes off, Wally,? she said. He removed his pants. His cock swung back and forth awkwardly like a long red stick. She watched it, then slowly spread her legs.?You want it?? he said.?Yes…yes, I want it.? Wally tried to pin her down, but she slid out from under him. She handed him the heated oil. ?Rub me,? she said. He poured the hot oil on her breasts. She winced slightly and shuddered. His hands spread the oil over her body, down her belly, and along the slit of her shaven pussy. ?Not inside,? she said. Gently, he rubbed her legs and feet. She turned over and squirmed as he smoothed the oil on her ass. In the soft light, her splendid body glowed. Still on her stomach, she reached back and spread her ass cheeks. He rubbed oil into the pink and brown pucker of her anus. Then, tentatively, he began to push the tip of his long bony index finger into her. ?No!? she said quickly turning away from him. ?Not there.?Slowly she rolled over to face him as he knelt above her. ?Jesus, Kathy, you?re beautiful,? he said.She waited a moment then staring directly into his eyes corrected him. ?Mrs. Ryan,? she said. ?It?s Mrs. Ryan, Wally.??What???Mrs. Ryan. Say it, Wally. Say ?Mrs. Ryan, you?re beautiful?.?He understood but hesitated. She pulled his face close to hers. ?Say it,? she repeated.?You?re beautiful, Mrs. Ryan,? he said. She kissed him long and deep. He tried to push his cock into her.?No,? she turned away, ?later.? She pushed him onto his back and turned around positioning her head at his crotch. She spread her legs so that Wally could see the glistening come ooze along her crack. He reached for her pussy. ?No,? she said, ?just look.? His balls were small but hard. She cupped them in her hands, then bent her head to lick them. With the tip of her tongue, she drew circles on his balls and with her pointed fingernails she gently raked the underside of his cock. Then she sucked his balls, taking them one at a time into her mouth, careful not to hurt him. She had not yet placed her lips on his cock.She spread her own legs wider, jamming one of her small feet under his arm. He began to gasp, turning his head back and forth on the pillow. She dug the fingernails of one hand into the base of his cock and scratched her toenails hard into his armpit. With her other hand, she squeezed his balls and pushed the sharp point of her nails into them. Wally cried out in pain but did not resist.At several places her fingernails broke through the skin and drew little flecks of blood. His cock grew harder and deepened in color until it was almost purple, the thick veins bulging and pulsating. She drew the skin back tighter at the base of his cock increasing the pressure of her grip. Then, she began to run her tongue up the underside of his throbbing prick, lingering on the spot just beneath the swollen head, pausing, digging in her nails, hearing him whimper, feeling him pull back, squeezing his balls, and once more the exquisite laving of his cock, now moving her lips as well as her tongue along its slimy length, feeling her lips swell and her mouth fill with hot spittle, feeling in his balls and along his cock the beginning surge of an orgasm. Stopping then. Digging in her nails. The stabbing pain followed by the tender ministrations of her mouth.?Let me come,? he cried hoarsely.?Say ?please?,? she said. She flicked the tip of his cock with her tongue.?Goddamn it!? he yelled, and began to reach for her head. She clawed his balls and jerked the base of his cock back fiercely.?Beg, Wally,? she whispered. She did not look up at him. She concentrated instead on his cock, her lips lightly touching it as she spoke. ?Beg,? she repeated.?Please!? he cried, ?please!??More, Wally,? she said.?Suck me, please…Mrs. Ryan, suck me!?She opened her mouth wide and closed it over the ugly head of his cock. Putting both hands on its shaft she worked it up and down in rhythm with her head. He came immediately, not in short hot spurts but in a long flow of warm mucus. She held his cock away from her, milking him with one tiny hand. He tossed his head from side to side. She turned again and smiled down at him, ?For shame, Wally…for shame,? she said. In less than a minute Wally?s cock went limp in her hand.She got up and went into the living room. Wally lay on the bed and did not move. She brushed her hair and reapplied her makeup. In a way it had been awful, touching his loathsome cock with her lips and tongue, then taking it into her mouth. Jeff had a beautiful cock and she had never done this for him. She tentatively touched her pussy. It was very wet. She spread her legs and looked down at her shaven cunt. Her vaginal lips and clitoris were red and swollen. She drew her finger over her clit and shuddered.